POEMS 



POEMS 



By 

Evelyn Pardridge EngalitchefF 



1917 






Copyright, 1917, by 
EVELYN PARDPvIDGE ENGALITCHEFF 



DE 






With Loving Gratitude I Dedicate This Little Book of Poems To My 

Mother and Father, Who Have Never Failed Me 

And To Whom I Owe Everything. 

Evelyn Pardridge Engalitcheff. 



To Papa 

Dear papa, when everything fails me. 
And the whole wide world seems wrong, 
I suddenly think God gave me you 
And all the pain seems a song. 

God gave me my wonderful love for you, 
God made you seem so pure and true. 
Through you I built my faith in men. 
Through that faith I will find my trust again, 

Whenever I am not what I ought to be, 
I can see your eyes looking straight at me. 
Whenever my soul is getting hard, 
I can hear your words: "I'm keeping guard." 

So whatever fate can say or do, 
I thank dear God for having you. 
No one can take that faith away. 
Let them say what they will or may. 



Just Me and Just You 

The cool and quiet and peace of evening. 

With soft shadows of purple and gray and 
blue; 

The scent of flowers and earth and green things; 
With just me and just you. 

The silence of deep understanding; 

The thrill one feels through and through; 
All mean but one thing to me, darling; 

Just the nearness and dearness of you. 

To share simshine and shadow together; 

To know and to feel when all's through 
That nothing else really matters. 

And it's just me and just you. 

With one soul and one thought between us. 

That the hours are really too few, 
And knowing we do not need others. 

When you have me and I have you. 

What else in the world really matters. 

The tears are only like dew 
To make it seem only the brighter — 

The love of just me and just you. 



A Toast 



To a strain of music that makes us think, 
To a woman's soul, to a baby's smile, 

To everything in this world worth while 
I raise my glass and drink. 

I raise my glass and drink to the one 
Who is lonely and sad tonight. 

And all the best wishes I send to them — 
May all that's wrong come right. 

And again I raise my glass to love — 
That sweet and beautiful thing. 

May it touch you all some wonderful day 
With the joy I know it can bring. 

To a fight well fought, a battle well won. 

To all that is good and pure, 
I raise my glass to every one 

And wish jou strength to endure. 



A Dream 

I had a wonderful dream, dear, 

And the dream was of you and me. 

There was music and flowers and love, dear, . 
And only the angels to see. 

There was never a spoken word, dear. 

And the music was soft and low; 
And the breath of the flowers was wonderfully 
sweet, 

Teaching us where to go. 

You held me very close, dear, 

And your thoughts and mine were one. 

Everything else seemed far away. 
And the world had just begun. 

Why can't that dream come true, dear. 

Just music and flowers and love; 
With everything pure and sweet, dear, 

Does it only exist above? 

You teach me how to go, dear. 

In the wonderful way you know. 
For my love is pure and my heart is strong. 

And your way I want to go. 

I need your courage and love, dear. 

For me 'tis the only thing. 
And perhaps my dream will come true, dear. 

Who knows what the future can bring? 



A Prayer 



Dear God, won't you take this thing called my 

heart 
And make it over part by part — 
Take all the pleasm^e but leave less pain — 
Please God, won't you make it over again. 

Make it of steel, with some aloy 
Of love and hope and a little joy. 
Don't let it quiver at every touch; 
Don't let each hurt, hurt quite so much. 

Let my body live on, if you will, 

But take my heart and keep it still. 

I am so tired ; I see no light ; 

Please God, won't you answer my prayer tonight? 



Wandering Thoughts 



I am tired tonight, and lonelj^ 

And my thoughts are like human things; 
They want to go to you, darhng, 

With the wonder that loving brings. 

Will you take them and guard them closely, 
And read their message aright? 

They are tender and anxious and loving, 
These thoughts of mine tonight. 

Oh, they will know, believe me. 

If the threshold is warm with light; 

If the door is closed and the heart is cold, 
Thev will return tonio^ht. 



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I vrill take them and speak very gently, 
And fool them Avith words that I know, 

And tell them they should not wander 
A\niere I woidd fear to go. 

For a woman's soul is a beautiful thing 
And should not wander away; 

If kept very near and held verj^ dear, 
It cannot go far astray. 



But I want you, my darling, my darling! 

And my thoughts must go straight to you. 
If you bruise their wings, they are only things, 

And I'll teach them what to do. 

I will smile and jest and take the next best, 

And no one shall see the pain. 
For a woman's soul is a wonderful thing 

And should not go seeking in vain. 



"Mental Science" 

Tliev have found a science for the mind ; 

They say it can crush back the tears ; 
It will also stop the heart throbs of them 

Who have suffered through bitter years. 

It ^vill bring back the beauty and trust of love 

And lay it at your feet; 
It will bring back the bloom to the rose; 

It will make all life seem sweet. 

You have only to think that way 

And you have mastered the sadness of tears; 
You can laugh in the face of Fate 

And show it you have no fears. 

For love is a stupid thing 

And really does not exist; 
Use mental science for every pain; 

It will vanish away like the mist. 



\A/eariness 



If my weary soul could only sleep 

The sleep that is real, the sleep that is deep ; 

If time would only help me find 

The rest for body and soul and mind. 

The nights and days are one long pain, 
For all Love's hopes have been in vain; 
Every tomorrow is just like today, 
And I find only sorrow the whole long way. 

If only I could find in a dream 

The deep cool shadows, the peaceful stream, 

The glorious sunshine just above, 

The beauty, the trust, the faith of Love. 

Of course, I know that it must be there, 

But I don't know how and I don't know where 

To find that priceless jewel — Content. 

By God it is given, by God it is sent. 

Perhaps I have not gone the right way; 
Perhaps what seems night is really the day; 
Behind the dark clouds there must be the sun, 
Perhaps Faith and Hope their battle have won. 



Kegret 



Why did we have to meet, dearf 

3Iy soiil, though asleep, was content. 

It would look at me with eyes quite clear, 
And I tliought it was all life meant. 

Then you came and the throbbing pulse of desire 

Awoke aiid claimed me its ovm. 
And when I looked in the eyes of my soul 

I knew that a love had grown. 

And it grew so strong, it was part of myself. 

And thoughts that I never knew 
Came crowding in — they spelled one word. 

And that word was alwavs vou. 

I did not even try to resist. 

The feeling was strangely sweet. 
I longed to possess the whole world, dear, 

And lay it at your feet. 

I never could give half, dear, 

WTiether love or friendship or hate. 

So take my soul and all. dear. 
And leave the rest to Fate. 



Composed April 4, 1898 

The rain is madly beating 
At my window pane tonight, 

As though it were an outcast 
Seeking shelter, food and light. 

And how my heart-strings answer 
To the wild, mad tune it plays. 

Not daring to seek refuge 
In the thought of better days. 

But as I sit in terror, 

While the wind is raging wild, 
The heavenly gift of peace steals in 

And makes all things seem mild. 

While the stars come out so silently, 
With their tender, loving light, 

^ly soul breaks forth with songs of praise, 
For peace has come tonight. 



Content 

Dawn with its wonderful beauty 

Is breaking over my soul, 
The dark, cruel night, the restless dreams, 

I have gotten under control. 

The clouds that seemed so dark and stern 

Have turned to rose and gold, 
And nature seemed dressed in its freshest and 
best, 

And made from a perfect mold. 

And all that seemed Winter, 

Has turned to soft Spring, 
With the joy to live, and to give and give. 

And to laugh and love and sing. 



After Kipling 

A woman made an idol one day 

Of a piece of flesh with feet of clay. 

But she only saw the pure and true, 

When every one else saw through and through. 

May she never look down and see how true 
Were the others that saw him through and 

through ; 
Just let her dream on in her queer woman's way, 
God help her to prove her idol's not clay. 

So let's get together and always say, 
We never have seen the feet of clay. 
Let's give to her her wonderful day; 
Let her worship her idol made of clay. 



October 1896 

A little room, a trundle bed, 

A baby's curly, golden head; 

A woman sweet, with soft brown eyes. 

Crooning some tender luUabys. 

The dearest mouth in all the land 
Kisses a picture in Mother's hand ; 
A sob, a tear in the sweet brown eyes, 
A little pause in the lullabys. 

A closing of eyelids gently down, 
And low, soft breathing the only sound, 
A smile of love in the sweet brown eyes, 
A dream of love and paradise. 

E. E. 



Laughter and Sorrow 



Isn't it strange I seem so calm 

When my brain is mad with aching. 

Isn't it strange I laugh and jest 
When my heart is slowly breaking. 

Isn't it strange I don't cry out 
And say it is only seeming — 

All done to cover a restless soul 
And stop this senseless dreaming. 

Yet stranger far that the heart beats on. 
With its heavy weight of sorrow, 

When life is so empty without you, dear, 
And no hope of a brighter tomorrow. 



"Keep A'Goin'! 



ff 



If you strike a thorn or rose, 

Keep a-goin'; 
If it hails or if it snows, 

Keep a-goin'; 
'Taint no use to sit and whine 
When the fish ain't on your line. 
Bait your hook an' keep on tryin'^ — 

Keep a-goin'. 



An Answer to the Fore-going 

Singing when the heart is cryin', 
Jesting when all hope is dyin\ 
I'm tired of a-tryin', 
And I won't think life is grand 
When I see what most folks stand. 

Keep a-goin' — ^very fine. 
But suppose you're not so prime ; 
Suppose the world's all upside down, 
Every laugh turns to a frown. 
Are you going to keep on goin' 
When disaster is the sowin'? 

No, I won't keep on a-tryin', 
I will just watch things a-dyin'. 
And the wild birds on the wing. 
And the bells that sweetly ring. 
If you've got the courage, sing, 
But for me I'm tired of tTjin', 
I'll just sit and see hope dyin'. 



Flowers 



Written when I was twelve years old. 

Pretty little flowers. 

With your faces sweet, 
Looking up at dear God's face. 

Bowing at his feet. 

Tell me why you have to die, 

When I love you so? 
Does God want you up in Heaven, 

Where your playmates grow? 

Can you talk and think like us 

In your flower way? 
Do the fairies come at night 

And go away at day? 

Are the others lonely 

When we pick just one of you? 
Do you like the children hest? 

I wish I really truly knew. 



Lost Faith 

A brutal hand has torn froni my soul 

The faith love only can make, 
And my heart is quivering and so still 

I fear it will slowly break. 

I wonder is there a grave so deep 
That can bury a love when it dies, 

That it can't come back to harrow my life 
With its wistful, pleading eyes. 

And the useless thing of it all to me— 

Why hurt a love so sv/eet — 
A love one should cherish and hold most dear^ 

Why wound with a knife so deep ? 

Nothing was gained but so much was lost 

When you took all trust away. 
I wonder if you won't regret sometime 

On some future lonely day. 



Two Judgments 

"Black as ink!" man said, 
As she bowed her head 
And passed on to pay the toll 
Of a life misspent 
Which by God was meant 
To reach quite another goal. 

So the years rolled by 

And none heard the cry 

Of a soul in torment bound — 

And again she stood 

To be judged for the good 

And not for the bad that was found. 

And a voice cried out 
That could leave no doubt 
That the good and the bad had 

been weighed. 
For a kindly deed 
To one sorely in need 
The debt had been nobly paid. 

God sees every soul 

And will help to the goal 

The faltering steps that have strayed. 

If we only trust Him 

We can master all sin 

And hold up our head unafraid. 



To the 5th of June, 1917 

God bless you, ev^ry mother's son. 

With men like you the fight is won ; 

You stand for all that's fine and true, 

You make us proud of the Red, White and Blue. 

And if you have fo go "over there," 

You'll be followed by every mother's prayer. 

The fight's for justice and what is right 

And, boys, you must fight with all your might. 

And you must come back to us every one 
With the fight well fought, the battle well won ; 
And oh! what a welcome we'll give to j^ou — 
You glorious men of the Red, White and Blue. 

Every mother and sweetheart and wife 
Is ready like you to give their life 
For a cause so just, and when we are through 
Let's hope there'll be peace for the Red, White 
and Blue. 



A PI 



ea 



God, I am speaking frankly. 
If I have not done right. 

Don't let me suffer daily, 
Just let me pay tonight. 

Don't let this pain that's in my heart 

Go on by night and day. 
Just let me come to you, dear God, 

And let me really pay. 

Xo matter what the cross shall be. 
Please God, don't let me wait, 

Let it be what you will or may. 
But let me know my fate. 

Give me the heaviest cross vou can, 

^Yhat ere vou do is best. 
But give my cross tonight, dear God, 

And let my soul have rest. 



Courage 



Why, wounded heart, be lonely, 

When life has so much to give? 
Do you think that your soiro^v will go on 
tomorrow 

And continue so long as you live? 

Just pull yourself together 

And look on the bright side of things. 

The shadows are not for you only, 

Can't you think what the sunlight brings? 

Think of the pain that others are suffering with 
you this day. 
With no hope of a bright tomorrow. 
And nothing they do or say will bring back one 
fleeting 
Moment of some other beautiful day. 

You have had your fill of loving. 
Your cup has been full to the brim; 

So face the future bravely 
And put your trust in Him. 

Only the coward weakens and says that all goes 
wrong. 
But the brave one keeps on thinking what a 
beautiful world it is ; 
And he takes his measure of pain and pleasure 
And knows that the battle is his. 



So brace up for once and always 

And don't weaken or give way. 
God has given to you a wonderful soul. 

Are you going to turn it to clay? 

Just tliink of Him more often — 

The giver of all to you. 
'VMiy, you're not worth the name if you can't 
play the game 

And be better when all is through. 

There are some that love their sorrow 

And some that hide it away. 
Be the one that bears it bravely; 

Do sometliing for others today. 



Help Me! 



Help me to forget this pain. 
Help me to believe again, 
Make me what you want me to be. 
Not what others may think or see. 

Take away envy, malice and spite, 
]Make me perfect in Thy sight. 
Help me be loyal, brave and true, 
Help me be decent through and through. 

Let me be big abov^e all things. 
With the bigness that trusting brings. 
When I lay down to sleep at night 
Let me feel I have done right. 

Let me, even though in a small way, 
Be helpful to others day by day; 
Help me be worthy of Thy great love; 
Of ever}i:hing small let me be above. 

The way is so hard for some of us here, 
We must feel and- know you are always near, 
And when even the day seems darkest night, 
Help us remember that you will bring light. 



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